OF MAIN CAMPUS AND TERMINOLOGIES

Since Oxford university press came up with an English dictionary which is reviewed every now and then thus the many editions. I have also decided to compile list of vocabularies that always perturbed my mind ‘dem days’ when I was in first year.

Top of the list is the word pirate, a word that I was well acquitted with as I was well versed with the Oxford Dictionary since my primary school days. According to the dictionary a pirate is a person who commits robbery at sea or one who infringes copyright. The moment I stepped in main campus the word got a very different meaning despite maintaining the same letter arrangement. A pirate is any student who resides in a room he or she is not entitled to. However, there are two types of pirating both of which are illegal but one is more illegal than the other the more illegal one is when a student  divulges money meant for accommodation for swag  and wardrobe related issues thus pirating the whole semester. While the more legal one is when one pirates due to unforeseen circumstances such as clearing after fourth year.

Stronghold or Tharaka Nithi; according to political analyst Mutai Ngunyi these are areas where politicians or political parties enjoy a fanatic following from their supporters. But in main campus it has a far different meaning as it refers to an exam passing strategy between course mates whereby the sitting arrangement is predetermined and altered favorably to determine a successful outcome of exam results. You will see these strongholds starting next week. It is facilitated by formation of exam committees which are adhoc committees formed as early as a week prior to the exam starting day and as late as thirty minutes to the start of an exam paper to ensure operation forty plus one threshold is achieved.

Running mate; in the field of political science and under the new constitution he or she is a person who vies to be the second most powerful person after the head of state. However in main campus it is a synonym of mwakenyas aka “mwaks” which is an external hard disc containing a summarized but detailed information concerning a particular course unit very efficient for intellectual reinforcement therefore a formidable artillery unstoppable by any exam questions except application questions. It is also a passport to 1000 cultivation days, fishing or herding days depending on which part of the country you come from if you are caught in action (CIA).

Exile; is a situation where one is forced to flee his native country or area of residence to avoid being a victim of calamities such as war, diseases or drought. Here it means something different. It is an artificial situation perpetrated by your roommate and co-perpetrated by his or her boyfriend or girlfriend forcing you to sleep out of your room due to ‘bedroom’ affairs’ .Forcing you to become a twelve to infinitive hour refugee.

Women representative; is a short form of women representative an elective post in the Kenyan constitution. She is a woman member of parliament elected at county level to ensure a third of women representation in all elective positions to represent the interests of women in national parliament. Here it refers to a man who represents interests of women. Instead of using the pavement on his way to student center he passes through Hostel J. He is usually visible around Hostel K, J, and L-female wing and around chips cafes buying snacks for random sweethearts. He is also in charge of escort female classmates to and from class. When you walk besides a women rep on your way to stage he end up hugging the people he is representing at a very alarming rate of two ladies per metre, thus it may take you two hours to arrive at stage courtesy of ‘hugments’ and gossips with ladies.

Senate; this is the most ambiguous word which has various meanings depending on the sentence where it is used. It can refer to the upper house in a bicameral legislature charged with the responsibility of making laws governing county governments within the republic. Here it is the highest decision making body full of policy makers in charge of issuing further noticed holidays. Whereas comrades, the noise makers are busy chest chumping themselves that a comrade is always right. At the senate a comrade is always wrong and is guilty unless proven otherwise. The composition the senate has highly decorated individuals with humongous titles like EGH, OBS, BOG, CDF, PTA among others with indigenous names combined with biblical names which is usually placed as an initial for example EGH,OBS Otieno B. Oyoo where the B stands for Bartholomew.

Fracas; in the Webster English dictionary it refers to disorder where scuffles are the order of the day. Here it represents the most outspoken entertainment spot, this is our club Galileo located at Westlands (stage). This is the only place where someone who is physically superior because he is a regular gym goer and a heavy consumer of carbohydrates with a wedge shaped body like the comical character known as ‘masgwembe’ in Safaricom data bundles advert has the right to practice uncensored dance styles such as “bend over” and “gal a bubble” with your girlfriend and you have the right to remain silent unless your personal doctor, whom you probably don’t have has recommended facial surgery.

Super editing; this is coined from two words super which means extraordinary while editing means removal of grammatical error in a news article. Here it is the process of taking a colleague’s assignment that is in soft copy when you realize you are out of time even though the assignment was given two weeks ago. It involves changing and replacing of words to the extent that it appears like the original copies. It is a risky affair if a lecturer detects, as getting a zero is warranted as punishment. It is carried out by serial ‘copy pasters’ who are mercurial in this undertaking that they end up getting more marks than the person with the original copy.

Flying Squad; is one of the most dreaded Kenya police squads which has un-uniformed and ever mobile policemen. Here it refers to students who airlift themselves to the upper most part of the double decker. So as to sleep on the uppermost part of the double decker like roasted meat on top of a wire mesh, am not targeting my friend Luqmane Ntaragwi in this case.