Wednesday 19 November 2014

THE SPECIES OF COMRADES OF MAIN CAMPUS Part two of four




Day Walkers; this are comrades who never engage in anything academically constructive during the day. They engage in time consuming or rather time wasting activities like playing FIFA, walking to and from stage and inter hostel commuting. If you adopt this habit from the experts you might see stars during exams as the experts usually hole themselves in their rooms or on the upper floor of the library “hapo kwa Maggy” MTL ,at night to engage in serious reading. Since this is not high school where you can easily establish whether one is reading or not reading due to prep time, at campus there are no preps.

The Examiners; this are comrades who literally hijack the role of the exam coordinator or is it “cortinator” as my aide de camp and class representative Kimutai puts it. They have the ability to foretell questions which will come during the main exam and come up with answers which they usually put in soft copy, “Mwaks”, which is an external hard disc which is very effective for intellectual reinforcement during the exam period. They also go ahead and manipulate sitting positions so as to have an intellectual stronghold where all examiners sit together as an emergency measure incase their prediction “bounces” or hits the wall they can pull their intellectual resources together and come up with answers through coming up with a sort of intellectual Sacco or merry go round  kind of thing.

Book Wormers; this are comrades who came to the varsity to read, they did not read to come to the varsity as most comrades. Their lives revolve around their rooms, lecture halls and library. They are allergic to any co-curricular activities from watching football to storytelling. They just live their lives. 

The Traditionalists; I usually don’t like referring to them as villagers, this are comrades whom I can hypothetically say went to Otieno Oyoo primary school, Otieno Oyoo secondary school then finally through God’s favour Moi University. This are comrades who blame any unlucky happening within campus to their angry neighbors who aren’t happy with their successful exploits in the varsity. You can overhear them saying “hao watu wa kwetu wananifuata hadi main campus” “people are following me from the village.” They are always amazed by everything from storey buildings to female comrades wearing trousers. A good friend of mine Joshua Ongechi once told me that if a campus lady ever appears in their village somewhere in Kisii, in trousers, miniskirts and other my dress my choice kind of attires, women would call each other out to come witness eschatology, the end times as such an occurrence is only heard off.

Die Hards; this are comrades who never fail to turn up for any soccer match being screened from Student Centre whether it is Queens park Rangers against Nottingham Forest or Muhoroni Youth against Kenya Revenue Authority. They are always there, they seem to be the best footballers who should be awarded the Baloon d or and the best coaches as they always give recommendations on what a player should have done you will overhear them saying ‘io ball angeplace but alishoot’ ‘He should have placed for precision but he opted to shoot’. They also seem to be coaches as they also seem to have the best formation to be deployed and the player who should play where and who should be on the bench. They have Jerseys of their respective teams with their nicknames as “Jahome” at the back.

Opinion Givers; this comrades never fail to have opinions in any issue, any issue in this case is every issue even those they aren’t concerned. This are comrades who no matter how hard you try writing an article they will look out for spelling mistakes or use comments such as “nani ako na mkebe ya omo imeisha nataka kuwekea pegs’, ‘who has an unused tin of detergent help me with I use it to store my pegs’ or ‘hii hand out ni how much kwa photocopier,’ ‘how much does this handout go for at the photocopier.’

No comments: