Friday 1 January 2016

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS THAT NEVER STAND THE TEST OF TIME

Now that the Lord has been merciful enough to allow us live to see a new year everyone has a new year resolution .Some are making over ambitious new year resolutions which can never and will never materialize buts it’s okay rules are also made to be broken.

“Starting next year I will stop drinking,” a drunkard would be overheard declaring as his or her New Year resolution, not because he is willing to quit the bottle but because of the responsibilities that come along with the Country’s longest month “Njaanuary” as they often put it. Bear in mind this is someone who cannot sleep with any alcoholic drink in the same room, one party has to sleep inside another. It is usually the longest month for men of the bottle as they are forced to be tee tollers for a whole month as they cannot afford the booze since they have spent a good amount of money paying their bills, footing school fees and other financial commitments that come in this month. As they drink themselves on the last day of the year at popular hangouts where they are major ‘shareholders’ to the extent that they know all waitresses by name, voice and age. You might tend to believe that they might have quit alcohol in the month of January, however, the moment they receive that month’s salary they go back to basics. When drunk they would be heard crying out loud in their drinking dens “If Jesus turned water into wine, who are we not to drink are,” a clear indication they benefited from Sunday school classes in their heydays.

“This year I want to settle down am tired of running up and down after girls,” a member of that notorious team that has no coach, no playing ground, no official jersey, no home ground and no official starting lineup will be heard declaring as his New Year resolution courtesy of his mother’s pressure for grandchildren. This seems to be the easiest resolution to be broken as it can’t last a fortnight.

Ladies will also declare that they are looking for a suitable man to settle down with as their New Yearresolution yet they come up with unrealistic expectations and conditions to be met with their kind of ‘suitable’ man. They would claim their suitable man should be financially stable, God fearing, educated, tall, handsome, intelligent outgoing,flamboyant,charismatic blah blahblah the list of these unrealistic expectation is longer than a shopping list and is directly opposite to the character of the ladies who spell them out.

Renowned spendthrifts will declare how they would reduce their spending habits so as to start saving to acquire assets and long term investments. These are people who anything called money itches them. They don’t trust their banks with their money to the extent that they withdraw their salaries less than 24 hours after their respective employers have deposited in their accounts. They spend their income in unnecessary spending sprees whenever they have the cash with a promise that they will change and start saving.

Having lost 99.999% of all SportPesa bets last year a seemingly disappointed gambler would go around saying how he has quit gambling after realizing it is an unproductive economic activity since he has been on the wrong end of bets for the whole year. However, there is that voice at the back of the head telling him not to quit since he stands a chance of regaining the cash ‘lost’ in the past year due to gambling. Tempted to try his luck in the games that come after New Year, good riddance, he wins a good amount, the gambling continues.