OF HOSTELS AND MOI UNIVERSITY; ALL HAIL HESTGATE.

Part two of two,

This mega-hostel which derives its Hilliance name from the popular stage based reliance supermarket .It is the unopposed Central Business District(CBD) of Moi University main campus .It is also known as Hestgate  after Westgate shopping mall since it is also a consortium of many businesses. It is the only hostel that does not experience blackouts even if the entire Kesses region under Eldoret South Kenya power and lightning company (KPLC) zone as it has its independent transformer on top of it .Nobody in main campus can clearly describe hostel H well, some will say it is a bakery, others will say it is a laboratory, others will say it a supermarket, others will say it is a black-market but the bottom line is that it is an assembly of all merchants in Moi University Main Campus. Let me try to break down in detail what hostel H aka Hilliance aka Hestgate is in details.

 It houses Pumwani Hospital (Hospice) private wing which was official opened last around June this year when I was undertaking my last semester as a first year. The first patient was a second year on long holiday who came to deliver her first class honours after her boyfriend had refused to take responsibility of the honours .If you think am lying then go and look for crazy Monday pullouts during this period and you will find the details of how a university chic gave birth in a male hostel.

   Stationary and printing press  have their bases here, national newspapers such as the Daily Nation, The Standard and international newspapers such as The New York Times should  consider opening new outlets most photocopiers are located here .This paper business is booming due to the relatively cheap prices and the never ending advertisements up to the washrooms each printing press trying to market itself to customers who flock the hostel in their numbers .Unfortunately these printing presses save your assignment only to sell it to your course mates on a willing buyer willing seller basis. This situation automatically leads to exam malpractice ,which is  a crime with ramifications only my course mate Roy Neto can tell from a victims perspective how nearly half the class collected his assignment after he had printed from a rogue printer who sold it to fellow lazy course mates .You cannot think what happened next.

   

  Hestgate Revenue Authority (HRA) which is the body controlled by the janitor and is in charge of collecting revenue all the businessmen in H. It also gives licenses to all businessmen and aspiring businessmen who want to carry out business activities in this hostel. The businessmen who think they are smarter than the taxman (HRA) try to cheat the taxman of his dues end up being banished from doing business within and around H until they pay the fine.

          Laboratories used by able scientists manufacturing Hydrated Omena Hydroxide (HOH).This laboratories are usually located on the ground floor as the perfume is usually concentrated here.

            Bank of Hestgate (BoH) which is also located in this building .It provides loans to businessmen who don’t have funds to start businessmen, like my   class rep Kevin who after being poor like me for a whole semester out of nowhere bought a printer and began his printing business nowadays I only hear of him on the radio he has really crossed the border of poverty now he is living in the land of milk and honey, leaving me in poverty.

                  It is the only the only hostel in the whole world that houses The Statehouse and Whitehouse, if you think am lying go ask to be shown these presidential palaces .On top of that they have party house which is also recognized by the online booking system .I Almost forgot before I knew of Westgate hostel H had Westgate already .However their Westgate is located on the First floor on your way to the washrooms just next to room 116 you can confirm from yourself if you don’t believe me.

               This hostel also has a Casino, probably where James Bond Casino Royale blockbuster was acted .This is the pool located on the second floor where troublesome second years usually reduce their stress after a long day. On top of that these hostel has a butchery which sells meat though no one really knows where it is located .Hotels that sell ready to eat beans are also here no wonder the stench of  burnt beans is the odour second to Hydrated Omena Hydroxide.

              So far these is the Luxurious hostel in the university with all the investments in it no one would not want to live in it. However the major problem is with the Hestgate Sewerage and Sanitation Board (HSAS) is the only institution failing in its mandate as it is the dirtiest hostel in main campus with litter all over and no go zone washrooms. I really wonder how my class representatives Kimutai and Kevin together with class Campus women Representative  Bianka survived here for a whole year because the last time I attempted to pass through Hostel H during my first year I collapsed and found myself in Moi Referral Hospital Eldoret getting medication on Malaria ,Typhoid  ,Cholera and lung cancer. Can scientists take residents of these hostel as samples for experiments because they seem to be resistant species who could be used to formulate a hybrid vaccine.